Timing Is Everything

Posted on May 14, 2022 by womanwifemotherchild

I’ve said it before (ask my kids) and I’ll say it again (and again): timing is everything!

My husband is retiring — gradually. He plans to work one less day per week in each quarter of 2022. By the end of this year, he should only be working one day a week. But you know how plans go. Work has been crazy and his stress level is rising.

Our retirement plan is to travel around the country in a converted van, visiting National Parks, breweries, wild life sanctuaries, and (if my husband has his way) a few Diners, Drive-Ins, & Dives. We bit the bullet at the end of last year and bought a Mercedes Sprinter. Titan Vans in Colorado has been hard at work fitting it with a bed and other amenities. It was supposed to be finished at the end of April. But, since nothing is safe from supply chain woes these days, they’ve been waiting for a single part of a suspension upgrade kit to come in.

Meanwhile, my chorus spent the last few months preparing for our annual regional competition. I say “annual”, but the event was unfortunately cancelled in 2020 and 2021 due to COVID concerns. It’s back on this year. But many choruses, including the one I belong to, voted to compete virtually. We planned to record and submit a video package. We set the recording date for May 5. Because of the supply chain issue with the van part, I was able to participate in the video. Timing.

On top of this, one of our adult children is experiencing one of those major life-events that makes you feel like the world is tipping sideways and out of control. This is the second such event in their life in the past six months. I’m glad my husband and I aren’t on the road just yet. Timing.

On another front, my mother has been settling — very slowly — into her new assisted living situation since February. I check on her several times a week to make sure the staff is really doing all that we agreed they’d do. Let’s just say it’s been a learning experience for all involved. My father should be returning from his Florida living at the end of May to join her and also to keep an eye on all the assistance she’s supposed to be getting. That’ll make it easier for me to step back a bit as my husband and I set out on our adventures. Timing.

Spring is in the air and that means gardening and yard work. The strawberries, peas, potatoes, beets, spinach, kale, and lettuce are all coming up already. I’m grateful that I had the opportunity to plant them before we head out to pick up our van. Now to get some netting around the blueberry bushes.Timing.

And we just got word from Titan Vans. The part came in. Timing!

T.M.I.

Posted on April 8, 2022 by womanwifemotherchild

I’ve been remiss in my blogging. In considering the reason for this, I’ve come to the conclusion that it is NOT because I’ve had nothing to say. Quite the opposite. There’s TOO MUCH to say. Family stuff, community stuff, and global stuff bombard me and I struggle to keep up. I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling this way.

Life is messy — like the spent sunflower seeds in this photo. Everyone’s “mess” is a bit different. My mother, who is declining into dementia, has been the greatest focus of my time and energy for the last few years. My own involvement in social activities, like church and chorus, has taken a turn during the pandemic and I’m reassessing my priorities and assessing my own needs. Too many details to mention or even fully grasp are whirling inside my brain. Messy.

Some days, all I can do is focus on the simple things — the things that bring a sense of momentary peace and beauty — like the crocuses in this photo. Today, my “crocus” will be venturing outside in the retreating drizzle to start turning over the dirt in my garden beds. That’s all. The mess of life will still be here when I’m done, but that’s okay. Maybe it’ll feel a little less daunting. I encourage you to do the same if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Give yourself permission to focus on the crocuses. And have a blessed day. 🙂

The Advent of Advent

Posted on December 2, 2021 by womanwifemotherchild

I can’t believe it’s December already!

The gardens have been cleaned out (mostly) and the last of my butternut squashes are sitting in a sunny living room window. The temperatures have recently dipped below the freezing mark and we’ve even had a dusting of snow here in southern New England. Halloween and Thanksgiving Day have given way to the mad rush of Christmas preparations.

In the midst of making plans and checking lists, the season of Advent tends to slip by unnoticed. Not because it’s not important. But because our sights are set beyond it. Let’s pause and take one season at a time. It’s really worth it to slow down and appreciate the present, even as Advent celebrates the hope of things to come. One thing that’s helping me focus on Advent is a series of videos arriving daily in my inbox. They’re from Dynamic Catholic’s Best Advent Ever program.

A few days ago, one message really hit home for me. In it, Matthew Kelly talks about how life doesn’t usually turn out the way we expect. He calls it the unexpected life. (Watch it here.) For some reason, we judge our days based on how closely they adhere to our expectations. We make plans, write lists, schedule our time, and relax into a general sense of control over our lives. And we get frustrated, disappointed, or even irate, when things go sideways. What if we started each day instead with the notion that the unexpected is the rule, rather than the exception, of daily existence? Would that change our reactions? I think so.

The very day I saw that particular video was a day I needed its message. I emerged from a funeral mass for a friend’s mother only to find several text messages from my mother’s caregiver. I needed to take my mother to the doctor asap. Her doctor couldn’t see her and so instructed me to take her to Urgent Care. And that’s where I spent my entire afternoon, waiting for my mother to be seen, answering her repetitive question “Why are we here?” every twenty minutes or so. I found a new source of patience in the acceptance of the truth that anything can happen on any given day.

So, while Advent is about the coming of Christmas, it’s also about taking one day at a time. It’s about being present in the moments and appreciating the wonder and messiness and unexpected nature of life. And whether Advent and Christmas are faith celebrations for you or not, everyone could benefit from the messages they embody. So, happy December! And may you find peace in your unexpected life. 🙂

Vaccine Success

Posted on February 14, 2021 by womanwifemotherchild

Yesterday, I took my almost-eighty-five-year-old mother for her first dose of the Covid vaccine. What a relief to know she’s on her way to better protection from this nasty virus.

Signing up for the appointment was somewhat frustrating, in that each time I’d run through the preregistration questions, I’d get to the end and my chosen slot would no longer be available. I’d have to start over, answering the same questions again. I finally got wise and skipped ahead, over the next available time slot, and managed to secure her an appointment. That was a few weeks ago. I hear the Massachusetts website has been upgraded since then.

Anyway, we arrived a few minutes early to the vaccination site — a hotel about a twenty minute drive from her home. Everything ran smoothly, starting with the officers who directed the cars entering and exiting the parking lot. The building entrance was a long walk from the parking lot for an elderly person using a walker, so the first officer directed me to the front curb where a second officer helped me get my mother out of the car and set her up with her walker. Then he escorted her into the building while I parked.

Inside, signs marked our way toward the hotel ballroom which held a dozen or more vaccination stations. Chairs were set out along the way, from the front door to the ballroom, for anyone needing to sit for a minute. At the entrance to the ballroom, we were directed to the left, to one of many rows of three chairs, where people waited to be called to a station. We waited no more than a few minutes, just enough time for my mother to remove her coat. Vaccination station #2 waved their sign and beckoned us to them.

The vaccination itself felt a little anticlimactic. I guess I wanted cheers or maybe music and fireworks. Nothing. So, I’ll now provide my own:

I’d been hearing about the new “buddy” proposal in Massachusetts, where the one who brings the eligible person would also be offered the vaccine. That plan hadn’t been discussed yet at the time I’d made my mother’s appointment, but I’d heard that some “buddies” were being offered the vaccine on the spot, even without their own appointments. I wrestled with the question of whether or not I’d take the vaccine if offered. I’m not in one of the high-risk groups. So many people need it more than I do. I probably won’t be eligible for months to come. What should I do? After reading a NY Times op-ed about this very dilemma, I decided that I’d take it, if offered. Well, they didn’t offer. So, no fireworks for me yet.

Before we left the vaccination station, they scheduled an appointment for my mother’s second dose, writing it on a small card that serves as her proof of vaccination. We were directed to the far end of the ballroom for observation. Again, we took seats in one of many three-chaired rows and waited the required fifteen minutes, along with many others who’d just received the vaccine. We’d actually been given a Post-It note with the time of our allowed departure written on it. When our time was up, my mother asked, “Now what?” The significance of the experience seemed somewhat lost on her and she was relieved to hear that it was time to go home.

The whole experience gave me hope. Hope that someday most of us will be vaccinated. Hope that fewer people will be sickened, debilitated, or killed by this disease. In the meantime, I’ll continue to do my part by wearing my mask, washing my hands, and practicing social-distancing. And reminding my mother to do the same. 🙂

Gratitude Spiral: Day 359

Posted on November 20, 2020 by womanwifemotherchild

Today, I’m grateful for a new home aide for Mum.

Starting today, a woman whom my Dad & I interviewed a couple of weeks ago will visit my mother three mornings a week. She seems pleasant and well-qualified. Hopefully, things will go smoothly. I’ll probably still visit once or twice a week, but it’ll take some of the pressure off my schedule. 🙂