At The End Of The Day

If you’re anything like me, you’ve stepped into 2021 hoping for a better year. The year 2020 went out with a bang. Literally, for me: I hit myself in the head with a metal ladder, requiring a trip to Urgent Care, a single stitch, and a tetanus shot. No permanent damage, though. How did your 2020 end? And how’s 2021 going so far?

I could complain. First, my attempt to replace a beloved pair of shoes (that are falling apart from being worn practically everyday), by ordering three similar pairs online, resulted in having to return them to three separate venues a week later. So much for trying to stay home and stay safe.

I could complain. My elderly mother’s home aide came down with Covid-19, necessitating a test for my mother and a waiting game for me and my sisters who’ve been sharing in my mother’s care.

Again, I could complain. But, on a much larger and completely unrelated scale, a mob invaded the US Capitol, shaking us to our democratic core. The news media and social media sites report on every disturbing angle of that appalling attack. While it’s important to be well-informed, it’s draining and anxiety-inducing to obsess over every scrap of news.

I see an awful lot of people complaining on social media. I see people griping and clinging to the worst of it all. But focusing exclusively on the negative just bring us all down. It really doesn’t help anyone. I’m not suggesting we ignore it and pretend everything’s rosy. I’m suggesting that we shift our focus for the sake of our mental health and well-being.

This pandemic has impacted everyone. Violence and hateful rhetoric impact everyone. Anxiety and depression increase, the more isolated and crisis-focused we are. So I suggest, at the end of the day — literally, at the end of each day — that we take a moment to focus on the positive instead. Turn off the news. Log out of social media networks. Choose gratitude — even if it’s only for the air you breathe or the blanket that covers you. Reflect on something positive that happened in your day. Maybe the sun shone. Or maybe you let someone into traffic in front of you today. Or maybe you had food to satisfy your hunger or you smiled at someone. At the end of the day, cling to what’s good. Practice gratitude. Take a deep breath and try to let go of the negative, the hate, the fear. In doing so, we make 2021 a better year. Are you with me?

Gratitude Spiral: Day 352

Today, I’m grateful for my mental health.

It hasn’t always been as strong as it is today, but I’m grateful that I’ve found ways to improve it. I’m thankful that when I wake up in the morning, I want to get out of bed, and when things don’t go the way I want them to, I can usually find ways to cope. It hasn’t always been this way. So, I’m thankful today.

What are you grateful for today?

Gratitude Spiral: Day 321

Today, I’m grateful for time spent outdoors this past weekend.

Something about being outdoors can lift your spirits and lighten any darkness you might be carrying around. This time of year, a brisk walk, taking in the views of changing foliage, can be the best medicine for the soul. I’m grateful for taking time to do just that.

What are you grateful for today?

Gratitude Spiral: Day 46

Today, I’m grateful for potatoes.

I eat a small helping every night before bed to help me sleep and to help me function the next day. Check out the book, Potatoes, Not Prozac by Kathleen DesMaisons, PhD for a better explanation and so much more information.

What are you grateful for today?

Gratitude Spiral

It’s Thanksgiving Day in the USA. While the stories of this holiday’s origin may be varied and even controversial, they all have one thing in common: people celebrating their good fortune by setting aside time for a communal giving of thanks. And that’s what counts.

Sometimes we forget to be thankful. We take what we have for granted. It’s easier, or perhaps just habit, to focus on what we’re missing, what we’re wanting, or what terrible hand we’ve been dealt. It’s a habit worth breaking. I remember a parish priest who used to encourage us to strive for “an attitude of gratitude”. (Thanks, Fr. Ron!) I think he was on to something.

In the Radiant Recovery community, founded by Dr. Kathleen DesMaison, where members deal with recovery from sugar addiction and depression, “joy dots” are a suggested practice. These “joy dots” are written down first thing in the morning before recording anything else in one’s food journal. These “dots” aren’t things we think we should be thankful for, but rather things that send little (or big!) sparks of joy into our day. Things that engender real, heart-felt gratitude. And many people report that doing this, incorporating this habit into their daily lives, changes them. Who wouldn’t want that kind of change?

But, like I said, sometimes we forget. I know I do. I want this new habit, this “attitude of gratitude”. Yet, I forget to look for the little joys. That’s why I’m going to practice, starting today, for a whole year (Yikes!) so it becomes habit.

I’m calling it my Gratitude Spiral. I thought about calling it a “Gratitude Circle”, but if you travel in a circle you end up back where you started. I want to come around to gratitude over and over again, but be moved forward or outward, like a spiral. I’m aiming for a new place. A more grateful and appreciative place. And I’d love some company.

If you’re with me, follow this blog so you can keep up. Visit regularly and post your own reflections of gratitude — daily, weekly, monthly, or just every once in a while. I look forward to it. 🙂

Today: I’m grateful for this first day of a new habit.

Come, My Spirit

Come, my spirit,
we’ve been to dark places that seem to be the end.

Come, see the red-gold flutter of trees
against a blue enamel sky.

Come, hear the solid thunk-thunk of a woodpecker
searching; the crispy crunch of leaves shed
like so much dead skin.

Come, smell the spice of just cut grass.

Come, feel the cool breeze that sends
a quiver of living across your cheek.

About Stress…

In this new chapter of my life, I keep discovering things I wish I’d learned thirty or forty years ago. If you’re on the far side of fifty, like me, you can probably relate. But since we can only move forward (or so they say), we must forge ahead without regret. Much of my recent self-directed education has been focused on learning how to live a healthy, happy life. Stress-reduction is key to reaching that goal.

Seven or so years ago (time flies, so maybe it was closer to ten??), I read Dr. Kathleen DesMaisons’s books, Potatoes, Not Prozac and The Sugar Addict’s Total Recovery System. They changed my life. I discovered my sugar-sensitive self and was able to change my eating habits, break my addiction to sugar, and step out from under the heavy cloud of depression. I’ve become so much more aware of what and how I eat and of how that affects the way I feel. It took years to get where I am today and, of course, the journey continues.

Last weekend, I attended a workshop lead by the author of two other books that I’ve read more recently: Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself and The Placebo Effect. In these books, Dr. Joe Dispenza teaches that through meditation it’s possible to break the cycle of thinking and feeling (and feeling and thinking) the same way everyday in order to create a new, happier, healthier future. And now I’ve just started reading Dr. Christiane Northrup’s brand new book called Goddesses Never Age. In it she postulates that there’s a difference between growing older and getting old. She sites the work of Dr. Dispenza within the first few chapters of this latest book and of Dr. DesMaisons in at least one of her previous books.

All three of these authors are proponents of meditation as a means to balanced health. And all three discuss the devastating effects of stress hormones on the body. I’m sure we’re all aware on some level that being “stressed out” is not the best thing for us. But the more I learn about what the body goes through when those stress hormones are released, the more I understand the value of learning how to de-stress.

We can experience physical stress, like not getting enough sleep, or emotional stress, like losing a loved one, or chemical stress, like consuming a high-sugar diet. Adrenaline and/or cortisol rush to our aid to sustain us and strengthen us in our momentary need. But they’re only meant for short-term use. If we’re constantly stressed, then we’re not giving ourselves a break from these hormones. And that can wreak havoc in the long-term. It can literally wear out the body, organ by organ, system by system.

It’s important to take stock of the stress in one’s life and to assess it as a very real health threat. There are small, but effective ways to de-stress, like taking a walk, enjoying the scenery, playing with your dog, cuddling your kitten, or just taking a few deep breaths. New habits could be formed: learning how to meditate, eating healthier foods, unplugging from your electronic social connections once in a while, or investing time in a hobby, to name a few. For some, there may be a need to take even larger, more difficult steps to let go of stress, like getting counseling, changing jobs or marital status, quitting smoking, or moving away from a bad situation. The goal is to learn what it feels like to be truly non-stressed and to make that the norm for your life.

I know that de-stressing is often easier said than done, but ultimately it’s our health we’re talking about here. It’s the quality of our lives that’s at stake. And who doesn’t want to live a long, healthy life? So, I encourage everyone (myself included) to take the time to make the changes that will lead to stress reduction and improved health. Check out one of the books I’ve mentioned above or take a pottery class or put your iPhone on silent for an hour…or do whatever it takes! And enjoy your life!