Notify Yourself!

Notifications. They flood our inboxes, ding from our phones, and buzz from our smartwatches. They keep us informed — and on edge. That’s life, though, unless you’re the type of person who doesn’t do social media and says so with a wrinkled nose, like you’re handling someone else’s dirty tissue. Are these our only two options? Is there a happy medium? I think there is.

Imagine your friend, or perhaps only a casual acquaintance, calls you on the phone several times a day to tell you what they just ate or to recommend a song they just heard or to tell you a stupid joke someone just told them. Imagine if ten friends did that. Or twenty. Annoying, right? But many of us allow this constant bombardment from our social media accounts and call it normal. FOMO (fear of missing out) is real. But missing out is not always a terrible thing.

Several years ago, I turned off all my notifications. It doesn’t keep the apps I use from trying to strong-arm me into turning them back on again. But it’s been worth it. Now, it’s up to me to check my Facebook pages, websites, and other social media sites for activity. What a concept! Choosing to notify myself. (Of course, there’s still the real danger of getting sucked in and spending way too much time scrolling. I keep telling myself to put a timer on before I log in. Do I always listen to myself? No. But at least I know it’s possible to practice healthy distancing from my newsfeed.)

If you’re looking for a way to de-stress in this new year, may I suggest taking control of and responsibility for your own notifications. Stop allowing the apps that are there to enrich your life have so much control. Notify yourself, instead. And happy new year. 🙂

Gratitude Spiral: Day 171

Today, I’m grateful for moving day.

Today, we move my parents from our childhood home, where they’ve lived for more than 50 years, to a small apartment nearby. It’s stressful and sleep wasn’t easy last night, but it’s a good day. 🙂

What are you grateful for today?

Hey! It’s Your Body Talkin’ . . .

As I sit at my keyboard with an icepack numbing my upper arm, I reflect on the curious idea that we spend so much of our lives ignoring our bodies’ gentle communications. We don’t pay attention until they scream at us. And then we have the audacity to blame them for getting old!

You know the joke:

“Dr., Dr., it hurts when I do this!”
“Then, stop doing it!”

Well, it’s no joke. My own doctors and physical therapists have said it to me many times in the past couple of years. I’ve been dealing with shoulder issues (rotator cuff tears, frozen shoulder, bursitis). No surgery, just lots of office visits where I’ve been told to go easy on myself. Healing takes time. And it requires learning to listen to your body. Right? But we resist. We grow impatient. Why? Because we operate under the impression that we shouldn’t have limitations. That life should be fair. That our bodies should be perfect (if not in looks, then at least in health 😉 ). And we complain when they’re not. Like someone’s made a huge mistake inflicting us with injury and disease.

But that’s real life. Messy, constantly challenging, stressful. And each of our unique bodies has its own way of acting, reacting, adapting, and coping. If we pay attention, we notice subtle cues from our own bodies that can lead us to cooperate with, instead of hinder, their healing abilities. Even in the middle of debilitating illness or injury, we can work with or we can fight the process. One path requires patience, perseverance, and awareness. The other path is easier in the short term: impatience and ignorance. But this way doesn’t bode well in the long run.

So, after scraping, chopping, and shoveling a few crusty inches of snow out of my driveway — mostly using my good arm, of course — for over an hour, I’m dutifully icing my shoulder. And hoping my body appreciates the attention. 🙂

About Stress…

In this new chapter of my life, I keep discovering things I wish I’d learned thirty or forty years ago. If you’re on the far side of fifty, like me, you can probably relate. But since we can only move forward (or so they say), we must forge ahead without regret. Much of my recent self-directed education has been focused on learning how to live a healthy, happy life. Stress-reduction is key to reaching that goal.

Seven or so years ago (time flies, so maybe it was closer to ten??), I read Dr. Kathleen DesMaisons’s books, Potatoes, Not Prozac and The Sugar Addict’s Total Recovery System. They changed my life. I discovered my sugar-sensitive self and was able to change my eating habits, break my addiction to sugar, and step out from under the heavy cloud of depression. I’ve become so much more aware of what and how I eat and of how that affects the way I feel. It took years to get where I am today and, of course, the journey continues.

Last weekend, I attended a workshop lead by the author of two other books that I’ve read more recently: Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself and The Placebo Effect. In these books, Dr. Joe Dispenza teaches that through meditation it’s possible to break the cycle of thinking and feeling (and feeling and thinking) the same way everyday in order to create a new, happier, healthier future. And now I’ve just started reading Dr. Christiane Northrup’s brand new book called Goddesses Never Age. In it she postulates that there’s a difference between growing older and getting old. She sites the work of Dr. Dispenza within the first few chapters of this latest book and of Dr. DesMaisons in at least one of her previous books.

All three of these authors are proponents of meditation as a means to balanced health. And all three discuss the devastating effects of stress hormones on the body. I’m sure we’re all aware on some level that being “stressed out” is not the best thing for us. But the more I learn about what the body goes through when those stress hormones are released, the more I understand the value of learning how to de-stress.

We can experience physical stress, like not getting enough sleep, or emotional stress, like losing a loved one, or chemical stress, like consuming a high-sugar diet. Adrenaline and/or cortisol rush to our aid to sustain us and strengthen us in our momentary need. But they’re only meant for short-term use. If we’re constantly stressed, then we’re not giving ourselves a break from these hormones. And that can wreak havoc in the long-term. It can literally wear out the body, organ by organ, system by system.

It’s important to take stock of the stress in one’s life and to assess it as a very real health threat. There are small, but effective ways to de-stress, like taking a walk, enjoying the scenery, playing with your dog, cuddling your kitten, or just taking a few deep breaths. New habits could be formed: learning how to meditate, eating healthier foods, unplugging from your electronic social connections once in a while, or investing time in a hobby, to name a few. For some, there may be a need to take even larger, more difficult steps to let go of stress, like getting counseling, changing jobs or marital status, quitting smoking, or moving away from a bad situation. The goal is to learn what it feels like to be truly non-stressed and to make that the norm for your life.

I know that de-stressing is often easier said than done, but ultimately it’s our health we’re talking about here. It’s the quality of our lives that’s at stake. And who doesn’t want to live a long, healthy life? So, I encourage everyone (myself included) to take the time to make the changes that will lead to stress reduction and improved health. Check out one of the books I’ve mentioned above or take a pottery class or put your iPhone on silent for an hour…or do whatever it takes! And enjoy your life!